Monday, November 29, 2010

The Big, Bad, Super Scary Gym!!!

I recently moved into a nice apartment complex... 15 steps away from their gym. I figured it'd be the perfect thing for me... no excuses. With the gym right there, I could workout every day and all would be good. Well, quite the opposite has happened. I'm actually kinda scared of it. Why? I dunno. I've been a gym rat for about 7 years now so I don't understand why this little gym is intimidating me.

Maybe the fact that residents walk in and out of there all day long and I don't want one of my neighbors to see me all gross.

Maybe the fact the equipment is "ghetto" and wobbly and I'm afraid my big ass will fall off it... or worse, break it!

Maybe the fact there's windows all around the room and the neighbors right behind those windows can stare at my fat ass while I sweat.

Maybe it's the fact I'm all alone when I exercise... with the exception of my darling "mini-me".

Maybe it's the lack of music and liveliness you get at a traditional gym.

I don't know what it is. I just know it's freaking me out and I totally need to get over it. My son was begging me to go to the gym today so he could "workout and get super big and super strong"! How could I say "no" to that?!?! So we went. And yunno what? HE worked out. But I held the water bottles. OMG. What a tub-a-lard. I swear! I'm this super huge chick with a huge goal and rather than exercising, I just stood and watched my 5-year-old exercise. I mean, yah. I want him to be healthy and whatever. But I need to get healthy too... like, it friggin' has to be a priority.  

What the hell, Black Kat? What's it gonna take for you to get your ass in motion??? Aren't you tired of living this way? Aren't you ready to start living the fun, active life you've been talking about these past few years? 

So yah. It's one of those nights. I'm beating myself up in my own little fat-person pity party. Luckily I already brushed my teeth so I can't turn to food for comfort! Ha! There's the silver lining!!! ;-)

Anyway, I am determined to get a solid 20 minutes of exercise tomorrow. I've done a lot of walking lately which is irritating the hell out of my plantar fasciitis and heel spurs so I'm gonna try something else. Maybe my Dancing With The Stars dvd or climbing the stairs at my parents' apartment. Whatever it is, I WILL do 20 minutes (at least) tomorrow!

Until then....

1 comment:

  1. If you're worried about how your neighbors see you in the gym, befriend some of them and make gym dates with that. If you're already friends with them, you won't have that intimidation factor, because you'll know they already like you for your awesome self! :)

    And, yes, it's hard, but try not to give in to those, "Oh, people will look at me funny if I exercise" feelings. Instead, when you're on the machines, think of what people will think when you're at your goal weight.