Tuesday, November 30, 2010

It Felt So Good, So I Did It Again!!!

I really enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment I had today... I ate much better than I have been AND exercised! I felt great! So, as I sat on the couch an hour ago to watch The Biggest Loser, I decided to go for one more workout. While they were doing their stepping challenge, I got my stepper out and did one too. I made it 12 minutes without taking a break. I lost count after 150 but I'm sure I did much more than that. What a great way to end the night! I'm already sore but I'm very much in love with this feeling and want to do it all over again tomorrow! :-)

Food/Fitness Log: November 30, 2010

Activia Strawberry Cheescake Yogurt (120 cals, I believe)
2 Homemade Mini Chocolate Muffins (Approx 100 cals each)

Veggie Burrito @ Rubio's (black beans, onions, peppers, salsa in whole wheat tortilla)
A Few Chips (I know, BAD! I way did NOT need those!!)
Tall Vanilla Chai from Starbucks

1 Light String Cheese

1 Black Bean Veggie Burger w/ 2% Shredded Cheese, Squirt of Mustard, Squirt of Ketchup
Handful of Shoestring French Fries (plus some from my son's plate)
1/4 C. Cottage Cheese

Hot Cocoa
I made my hot coca, looked at it and decided I didn't need it, so down the drain it went!!!

Up and Down 6 Flights of Stairs (7 minutes)
35 Minutes - Walking, Playing on Playground & Going Up/Down Hills
42 Minutes Total

My Thoughts:
So first of all... YAY ME!!! I set a 20 minute exercise goal and doubled it!!! I feel really good, too! I mean, I'm sore for sure,  but in a totally good way!

As for food, ok. So I definitely did better today that I have been. I got stuck eating lunch out. By "stuck", I mean this. I live about 30 minutes away from the rest of my life. My son's school, my family, my friends, my son's sports, etc. Everything is two towns over from where I live... as that's where I used to live. So when we're out and about all day, sometimes it's not practical to get back home. It's difficult to bring prepared food with me as it will spoil in my car. 

I'm not working right now so I don't have a fridge where I can keep our lunch. So anyway, usually 4 out of the 5 weekdays we end up having to eat out. I am working on making better choices... (veggie sub at Subway, veggie burrito or salad) wherever we go. Honestly, I'm looking forward to working again so I can bring my lunch, send my son to school with his homemade lunch, and saving a lot of money that way!

Until then, I am just going to focus on making better choices. I'm definitely much more conscious now of what I put in my mouth. I seriously WANT to get healthy. I hate being to fat for my fat clothes and crying when I look in the mirror. It drives me insane when I look at a pic from me before I got pregnant, remember how "fat" I thought I was then. I wish I could blink my eyes and go back to that "fat". That fat was 100 lbs less than where I am now. Hrumph!

Anyway, no looking back.... just look forward. One day at a time. One choice at a time. Eat to live not live to eat. I CAN DO THIS!!!

So... honest critique. What changes would you have made to my food/exercise today? Or did I do alright?

I'm setting another exercise goal for tomorrow of 30 minutes. I was hella worn out after playing "monsters" and "superheroes" on the playground for a half hour but oh my gosh, so much fun! My chest was tight. It almost hurt to breathe. I know I was getting a good workout. Oh and going up and down the hills and stairs, I almost diet. Literally. But I pushed through it and I know I can do it again tomorrow! 

Oh, and one more YAY for me... dumping my hot cocoa. I actually thought about it before I drank those calories. I decided I wasn't actually hungry or craving a sweet... I was just bored. So I drank some water and sat down to write this blog entry instead!!!

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Monday, November 29, 2010

By The Way....

... I know I make a lot of excuses right now! That's how I've been able to be fat for so long and do nothing about it. And it's something I'm working through. But that won't always be me. For every excuse I make now, I am determined to find a solution. I gladly welcome constructive feedback but know this, I'm on a journey. I am not going to become healthy and happy overnight. The point of me blogging about my journey is to write down all the feelings and excuses, and whatever-the-hell else I want to write about, in hopes of not only helping me get healthy, but also helping to inspire someone else. So there. Just thought you should know that.

The Big, Bad, Super Scary Gym!!!

I recently moved into a nice apartment complex... 15 steps away from their gym. I figured it'd be the perfect thing for me... no excuses. With the gym right there, I could workout every day and all would be good. Well, quite the opposite has happened. I'm actually kinda scared of it. Why? I dunno. I've been a gym rat for about 7 years now so I don't understand why this little gym is intimidating me.

Maybe the fact that residents walk in and out of there all day long and I don't want one of my neighbors to see me all gross.

Maybe the fact the equipment is "ghetto" and wobbly and I'm afraid my big ass will fall off it... or worse, break it!

Maybe the fact there's windows all around the room and the neighbors right behind those windows can stare at my fat ass while I sweat.

Maybe it's the fact I'm all alone when I exercise... with the exception of my darling "mini-me".

Maybe it's the lack of music and liveliness you get at a traditional gym.

I don't know what it is. I just know it's freaking me out and I totally need to get over it. My son was begging me to go to the gym today so he could "workout and get super big and super strong"! How could I say "no" to that?!?! So we went. And yunno what? HE worked out. But I held the water bottles. OMG. What a tub-a-lard. I swear! I'm this super huge chick with a huge goal and rather than exercising, I just stood and watched my 5-year-old exercise. I mean, yah. I want him to be healthy and whatever. But I need to get healthy too... like, it friggin' has to be a priority.  

What the hell, Black Kat? What's it gonna take for you to get your ass in motion??? Aren't you tired of living this way? Aren't you ready to start living the fun, active life you've been talking about these past few years? 

So yah. It's one of those nights. I'm beating myself up in my own little fat-person pity party. Luckily I already brushed my teeth so I can't turn to food for comfort! Ha! There's the silver lining!!! ;-)

Anyway, I am determined to get a solid 20 minutes of exercise tomorrow. I've done a lot of walking lately which is irritating the hell out of my plantar fasciitis and heel spurs so I'm gonna try something else. Maybe my Dancing With The Stars dvd or climbing the stairs at my parents' apartment. Whatever it is, I WILL do 20 minutes (at least) tomorrow!

Until then....

Food/Fitness Log: November 29, 2010

Foot-long Egg & Cheese @ Subway w/ Spinach, Onions, Salt/Pepper, Oregano and Chipotle Sauce.

Veggie Bowl @ Chipotle w/ Little Rice, Extra Black Beans, Salsa, Sour Cream, Cheese & Lots Of Lettuce
1/2 Apple w/ 1 T. Nutella

1/4 Homemade Pizza (roughly 300 calories)
Hot Cocoa

2 Holiday Christmas Tree Cake Thingies (Little Debbie's)

5 Minutes - Squats & Lunges
2 Minutes - Push Ups
2 Minutes - Stand Up/Sit Downs
9 Minutes Total 
(Crappy! I know. I made way too many excuses today...)

My Thoughts:
Oh man. I can totally see why I have gained all this weight. These couple treats here and there, meals outside the home every day, etc.... they all add up. Wowzers! I can see the things I'm doing wrong now that I'm writing it all down. I don't need cheese and sauce on my breakfast sandwich. Lunch I could have eaten at home... or if I had to eat out, skip the rice and/or sour cream and cheese. The black beans and lettuce were good. I didn't need the treats at dinner AND the cocoa... one or the other would've been fine. Homemade pizza was WAY better than delivery... and I spared a LOT of calories. Next time I should add veggies to it or a side salad. Gotta get those veggies in!

I am excited to officially begin my journey on Wednesday. I know if I stick with it, I'll do great. I just have to break this hold that food has over me. It's been my comfort for far too long... I'm ready to end this relationship and take back the control!

To be honest, I don't even enjoy food all that much. Today I literally almost vomited when we walked by the McDonald's in Wal-Mart. It makes me sick. And while I've never been much of a fast-food eater, still... I eat plenty of frozen "meals", bagged snacks and processed goodies. Imagine what my life will be like with fresh, home-cooked meals and snacks. And a life focused on living instead of on eating. Oh yah! I'm excited!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Food/Fitness Log: November 28, 2010

1 1/2 Starbucks Egg & Cheese Artisan Sandwich (roughly 450 calories)
Starbucks Tall Vanilla Chai (roughly 225 calories)
1/2 Starbucks Old Fashioned Doughnut   (roughly 225 calories)

1 Grilled Cheese on Whole Wheat Bread (2 slices) w/ 2% Cheese (about 1/4 cup) (roughly 160 calories)
1 1/2 Cups Cheesy Soup (super bad for me, I know!) (About 200 calories)
1 Bottle of Sparkling Apple Cider (roughly 420 calories)
5 Apple Slices (About 20 calories)

Mashed Potatoes (roughly 250 calories)
2 Dinner Rolls (roughly 160 calories)

3 Holiday Oreo's (160 calories)

Nothing Intentional

My Thoughts:
So I haven't started officially counting calories just yet but judging by my approximation, I consumed roughly 2270 calories today. Granted, we often underestimate how many calories are in something by 10-15% so adding that 15%, I'd be at 2,610 for today. Geesh! That's extremely high. No wonder I'm so FAT!

Every calculator I've played with online says to maintain my weight, I need to consume roughly 2,700 calories each day. Clearly, that's not hard to do. Sad thing is, I'm actually still hungry. Grr! But anyway, increasing exercise by 30-45 minutes per day and restricting my calories to 2,000 I should lose roughly 2-3 lbs per week. That would be GREAT!!!!Although, taking my PCOS into consideration, it'll probably be more like 1.5-2 lbs per week but honestly, I'll take any loss... as long as the numbers keep going down, all will be good!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

My One-Year Journey Begins.... Not Now!

Ok so I know the saying "there's not time like the present" but I am so not ready to officially start my one-year journey just yet. I still have a lot to do to prepare. I need to make charts (yunno... sticker charts?!?! I'm like a kid... stickers make me happy!), buy and prepare good food, figure out my schedule, etc. I know it sounds like a lot of unnecessary work going in to this but I know me. If I don't prepare, I fail. Simple as that.

I posted on Facebook today that I'm going to lose 100 lbs in the next year for my 10-year high school reunion. The feedback has been awesome. I'm totally encouraged!

I know you can do it girl!! ~Cindy

If there anyone that can do it is you! ~Bev

Just a couple of the nice comments. Nothing too elaborate but just enough that I feel good. I feel like I can do this. I know it's going to mean a lot of hard work and sometimes inconveniencing me... but I know the reward will be way worth it!

So just a little history for you. 5 years ago, I lost 95 lbs in a single year. I can't say I wasn't trying, but I wasn't trying HARD. I mean, my friend and I went to the gym every day after work for 30-60 minutes. Actually, sometimes we'd go for a couple hours just because we didn't have anything else going on and it was a way to hang out and get healthy together. I didn't really diet. I watched what I ate and made smart choices but didn't go out of my way to cut calories, etc. It was more that my mentality was to live a healthy life rather than stressing over losing weight. I made good choices and got good results.

I know I can do it again. Granted, I'm older now, I've had children and I now have PCOS.... but still, it's not impossible. And now that I have this darn high school reunion next year, I have to get serious. I have almost exactly a year (actually, less than a year, I think) to lose as much weight as possible. My goal is 100 lbs but I'll be happy with any loss.

I wanna look HOT at that reunion. I don't know if anyone will actually remember me but I want to walk into that room with all the confidence in the world and look great mingling with these people from my past. Who knows? My future soul-mate might be in that room so I have to look my very best!

December 1st (Wednesday) is my target "start date". Not a typical Monday. I figure mid-week is a good time for weigh-ins... a couple days before/after the weekend and I rarely ever have plans that day so it's a good day to blog about progress, etc.

I'm looking forward to this journey!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving.... Oy-Vey!

Thanksgiving... a holiday where we are forced to remember all the things we're thankful for. Good food. Good friends. Loving family. Great job. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Don't get me wrong. I am completely thankful for all those things. But the whole time I sat at that table, staring at all that yummy food and the family I was sharing it with, all I could think about was this ginormous belly attached to my body, sitting between me and that yummy food. How dare I gorge on such deliciousness when I sit here with enough fat on my body to last me an entire winter? I mean seriously. How could I even think about enjoying such a feast when quite honestly, that's how I eat most nights.

No. This Thanksgiving wasn't going to be about the food for me. I have so much to be thankful for and that's what I wanted to focus on. Sure, I ate. But I had small portions and only one helping. Really, aside from the eggs and whole wheat toast at breakfast, all I had to eat the entire day was one roll, about 1 cup of delicious mashed potatoes, same amount of stuffing and a few glasses of some sparkling apple cider. Compared to the normal 2-heaping-plates-of-food thing that I normally do, I was impressed. I did enjoy a small slice of my mom's apple pie but skipped the crust so ate just apples in cinnamon. Yah, that's right. I rocked it!!!

What does this tell me? Well, I guess I can have control over what I eat. I can be satisfied with small amounts. I can enjoy food in social settings without going overboard. SWEET! One Day At A Time is my mantra. I just keep saying over and over to myself and hope that it will catch on quickly. I tend to worry to much about what I'm going to do tomorrow when in reality, I just need to focus on today!

Anyhoo, for today, I'm beat. It's been a long day so I'm off to bed. I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving as much as I did.

-= Black Kat =-

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


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